Your Local Swamp Witch

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
sexlertumblyman
veneskaa

chosen one bullshit aside it's hard not to see shmi's immaculate conception and padme's horrifying birth experience as both symptomatic of discomfort & disengagement on lucas's part with pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood generally. anakin comes into the world spontaneously, mysteriously; shmi's retelling ten years later obfuscates the plain horror of what took place. luke and leia are lifted not from their mother but the structure that blocks her lower half from view and, on a more basic level, makes for a much more passive delivery. pregnancy and childbirth simply happen to women & from these deeply disturbing scenarios spring the children destined to save the world. okay

makingqueerhistory
makingqueerhistory

I used to get a lot of hate for using the word "queer" in the title of this project. One of the justifications I gave was that LGBT+ was too easy to take apart. Just drop whatever letter you don't like and go on with your day.

My posts have gotten tagged LGB more and more often lately. Usually accompanied by the worst additions imaginable. People are starting to whittle down and choose who they think of as disposable, so let me say this:

Queer as in trans people

Queer as in asexual people

Queer as in aromantic people

Queer as in nonbinary people

Queer as in bisexual people

Queer as in unlabled people

Queer as in anyone who counts themselves as queer.

Queer as in no questions asked, just an open door and a place to stay.

weaselle
weaselle

listen. idk if i have adhd, or spectra-'tism, or childhood trauma, or what, but whatever it is makes it so close to impossible to stay on task and follow through and do all the parts of life that keep your shit together like appointments and mailing shit and remembering dates, and maintain social relationships and keeping my space clean and doing even one thing on a to do list or whatever.

ANYWAY, i have been battling it extra hard the last year, and it has been a very two-up-one-back box step of a dance with weeks of making small progress interspersed with weeks of trying like hell to just not lose the progress i've made...

but i am now, on a sunday, sitting in a clean room, empty dirty clothes hamper, a deep-cleaned and fully operational deathstar vehicle, clean bathroom, clean kitchen, tomorrow's breakfast in the fridge, no late bills to pay or tardy replies to make, fully on schedule chores done personal space prepped 100% ready for monday morning.

It has taken me thirty. years. to get here.

weaselle

okay, i've prepared for this.

i feel like shit.

This is expected. I did everything right, which was really really hard, and then today didn't feel any different. I don't suddenly feel really good about myself or my life, my day didn't go significantly better than other Mondays... all that effort to accomplish this little level up, and it feels like a failure because i don't feel leveled up - zero reward.

This is a known issue, especially due to my personal experiences and brain chemistry.

This "i did it all and it didn't make my life any better it was all for nothing it's not even worth trying anymore" feeling is old company. We know this voice. And it is not a bad voice, it has reasons to exist, and deserves to be acknowledged, heard, understood.

But it doesn't get to make changes to the plan. It's a good plan. This plan, it's going to work.

I've been practicing a bunch of habits individually, one at a time, tweaking them so they work better for me and getting used to them until they are easier to make myself do consistently. One at a time so they don't overwhelm me. But they all require a well-set-up system to run in. You can't have a daily maintenance habit work on something that has already fallen apart.

So i had to get my space all clean and organized at once, and no late bills or expired paperwork or anything either, all of which any adhd/depressed/spoonie/etc knows, is a nightmare to make happen. But i did it.

Now it's time to put all those habits together, fire up all those subroutines as one big program, and let it run. Don't expect results right away. Let it run. Let it run until i can build on it and then let that run until i can build on that.

i built a bicycle. It's not the motorcycle that will get me into the race. But it's a bike, a good bike even, and i built it. That's pretty cool actually. And if i don't, y'know, pitch a fit and throw it away for not being a motorcycle, maybe i can ride it out to where the motorcycles get built.

idc how many people are born and raised into having fully functioning motorcycles, i'm getting into that motorcycle race, gods damn it, and then we'll just see how i do once i'm actually out there on the track.

So what, maybe i don't feel like it, but i am, to whatever degree, actually on top of my shit for once. I was ten minutes early for everything today. My medicare ID card came in the mail. I'm doing it. Let it run

deramin2

This is honestly very inspiringly to someone struggling with the same barriers.

The bicycle/motorcycle metaphor hit for me I also need to stop thinking of life as “arriving ” at functioningnadulthood Its always an activity not a destination But by George I'm gonna level that skill up Runescape style
theabigailthorn
theabigailthorn

i love guys: a friend lent me his entire box set of The World At War to get over a breakup, classic guy behaviour. it's 22 hours long so it'll be the perfect distraction, so far i'm at the point where this Hitler fellow has some bold new ideas and by the time the red army take berlin i'll be feeling fine

theabigailthorn

Paris (my bestie) called to say she's sorry about the breakup.
Paris (France) has surrendered to the Nazis

theabigailthorn

Japan has launched a surprise attack on Singapore leaving British morale devastated,, just as my morale was devastated,, by a surprise text message

theabigailthorn

the Soviets are refusing to give up in Stalingrad..., just as I am refusing to give up... on the possibility of being loved

byjove
byjove

like 92% of the time a super Christian couple gets married they immediately start posting shit like “marriage is the hardest struggle I’ve ever been through but it is God’s plan for me” and “thank you to everyone who has helped me and Jakey resolve this conflict and pray our way through these difficulties” damn. that’s crazy. most non-Christian newlyweds would still be in the honeymoon phase two weeks in. lol. then again, you’re both 22 and have never had sex or lived with a romantic partner before so I’m sure you have more hurtles to jump to make this work.

As someone who grew up mormon This is one of my favorite hobbies
byjove
byjove

like 92% of the time a super Christian couple gets married they immediately start posting shit like “marriage is the hardest struggle I’ve ever been through but it is God’s plan for me” and “thank you to everyone who has helped me and Jakey resolve this conflict and pray our way through these difficulties” damn. that’s crazy. most non-Christian newlyweds would still be in the honeymoon phase two weeks in. lol. then again, you’re both 22 and have never had sex or lived with a romantic partner before so I’m sure you have more hurtles to jump to make this work.